Remembering My Dad who passed away October 31, 2002

I love you Daddy!

I can't believe it has been 7 years since my Dad passed away, seems impossible, seems like a life time ago, seems like yesterday.

I used to have a very difficult time this time of year but as they say each yr gets a little easier. I wouldn't even celebrate Halloween until 2006. I miss him alot, his laughter, our times together, our love that only a father can give his daughter and I sure was Daddy's Little Girl.

For those of you who don't know....at the end of his life I took care of him as I did my Mom. This is such a wonderful gift that you can give to a parent that took care of you their entire life. It was a beautiful experience, easing one of my greatest loves into death. He held on for so long because of his fear of me not being ok and kept asking me for a week the same question - "are you sure you're are going to be okay?." His last words to me were..."Are you sure you're going to be okay?" I held him in my arms and said, "Yes Dad, I will, I promise." He said, as he drifted off to sleep..."Ok Squirt, I Love You Honey" and squeezed my hand........

We had some very rough times when I was younger and made amends in my late 20's and for that I am grateful. After that we became very close and the best of friends. He loved me so much as I loved him.

He was a great man, a great father and a great friend. He never called me by my name and since I was a little, called me "Squirt", which I loved.

One of my favorite memories of him was our love of football and racing. I would make the trip to his house in CT every week to watch my Giants and his Jets play. When football season was over we would switch to racing. His driver was the Viagra driver, Mark Martin and I would tease him about the Viagra thing. He was a ladies man to the end, so somehow that driver fit lol!

He could light up a room with his smile, his wit and his good looks. He was loved by many and was nicknamed Rodney Dangerfield. One, he looked like him and two, he was an extremely funny guy. He was very giving as well and gave so much of him self to the Shriners. An organization he was a member of since his early 20's and I was very proud of him and all that he did for that organization.

For a very long time he was the only one that I could count on. I knew that no matter what I did he would always be there for me. The thing I miss most is the beautiful unconditional love only a father can have for his daughter.

I will do what I did last year. Instead of being grief sticken, I will honor him with love. What I have done to keep is soul alive is to emulate his qualities and share this with all that I meet.

So Dad, I Love You With All My Heart and I Will Always, Always carry you with me in my heart.