Been Kinda Quiet Lately

Haven't been blogging lately. Why? Well there has been so much stress in my life surrounding my current career. This is weighing heavy on my mind these days. So I have been spending more time with my husband and friends, reconnecting with some great old ones and practicing my spiritual meditations, readings and lots of baths and planning trips and parties with my husband. This is all helping me cope with absolutely hating my job. With the job market the way it is, I don't have much choice at this time and remind myself everyday to be grateful that I have one, but have to admit it's tough to keep that attitude. I have been applying vigorously for positions for a month now but I haven't even received one phone call. It gets a bit discouraging but I do believe in my heart that there is something out there for me.

About a month ago, I met with a spiritual advisor and told her of my anguish with work. She said to me that I am meant to help mass amounts of people and have to say that this has been happening but also have to say it is very stressful and weighs heavy on my mind, heart and soul. This is not what I want to be doing.

I had the same career for many years and left that field about 2 years ago now and looking back, wonder if it was a mistake. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I really didn't have a choice. But I LOVED what I did. I love to work at my own pace, set up my own assignments and be my own boss. I hate working with others that don't do their jobs and it falls on the people who do. I am the latter of the two. I don't understand that kind of work ethic. I have stopped questioning it and decided to take one problem or task at a time to get through my night and to do a good job for the residents and the company.

Over the weekend, a friend of mine came in from NY and had an interesting proposal for me. To work in the law field using my medical knowledge. A position as a Legal Nurse Consultant. It is something that I would love to do! However commuting in and out of the city would be alot to take on. Being married to a man vs a job was one of the many reasons that I left my career and haven't pursued re-entering that realm. I am not obsessing over it and it is not consuming me (something a year or two ago, I wouldn't be able to let go) I am letting the chips fall where they may so to speak, letting go and see if this is where my journey is going to take me next. Working on myself with two spiritual advisers, reading spiritual books, prayer and meditation will lead me to the path for me. I believe this to be true in my heart, it is the way that things have always worked for me when I am spiritually fit. So I am sitting back, and letting my spirit take me there.

Ok So I Really "F'd" Up My Diet!

As I have talked about, I am an emotional eater and have to say that I really went off the track on my diet this week. It all began last week with an especially stressful working situation...day in and day out....so what did I do?? Turned to food :( When I felt the anxiety and frustration build up in me at work, I was grabbing candy, pizza, whatever. Then to top it off, my gf from the city sent me a care package including NYC pizza, stromboli and cannolis....how could I resist? Well, I couldn't!

I am trying not to beat myself up about it and re-group and start over. I'm not going to re-weigh myself for a week so I don't get discouraged and begin again tomorrow. As my favorite movie character Scarlett O'Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day" ;)

A Winter Treat For Us!

It's called 40 degree temperature and melted snow so I can get to my deck to grill! It doesn't happen often in the northeast so we are loving the temperature today :) I am getting sick of the stews, soups and heavier winter meals so we decided to cook on the grill tonight. Well, one problem, when Jerry went out to grill the food, he discovered we were out of gas! Booo!! But maybe not....we have a George Foreman grill! I received it for a gift years ago and never used it before. Digging through my garage, I was able to find it.

I have to say, that the steak and veggies came out perfect! We will definitely be using this devise again :)

One thing that I love about the low carb diet that I am on is that I can eat a large quantity of food and not worry about the calories, just the carb count. I am still maintaining 20 grams of carbs a day and have lost 10 lbs in two weeks and the food that I am cooking tastes great!!

On the menu tonight

• Grilled steak wrapped in bacon and topped with Gorgonzola Cheese
• Onion and Mushroom Marinade
• Mozzarella and Tomato Salad With Balsamic Vinegar
• Grilled Peppers and Zucchini

Grill your steak and veggies as you like. Wrapping the steak in bacon before cooking and once done, top with gorgonzola cheese.

Onion and Mushroom Marinade

• 1 lb of Baby Portabella Mushrooms
• 1 Small Red Onion
• 4 Cloves Of Garlic
• 1 Teaspoon of Fresh Basil
• 1/4 Cup of Balsamic Vinegar
• Olive Oil

In a medium frying pan over medium/high heat, line pan with olive oil. Add garlic and basil. Saute' for a few minutes (don't let garlic brown). Add mushrooms and onions, continue to saute'. Add vinegar and cook until tender. You can serve as a side dish or pour over steak.

Mozzarella and Tomato Salad With Balsamic Vinegar

• Fresh Mozzarella
• Sliced Tomatoes
• Lettuce
• Balsamic Vinegar

Place lettuce of your choice on plate. Slice mozzarella and tomatoes - add to bed of lettuce. Top with balsamic vinegar.

ENJOY!

Week 2 Weigh In

Week 2 Weigh In

So far I am doing well on my diet, being sick this week really helped. There was no way that I was going to exercise feeling the way that I did. I lost 4 lbs this week so my weight loss total since October is - 30 lbs!! I just have to keep it up. The funny thing with me is that I put on the weight fast but also once I have made my mind up, take it off just as fast *phew*

Starting Weight in October 2009 - 190lbs

1/3/10 - 170 lbs

1/8/10 - 164 lbs

1/17/10 - 160 lbs

Goal Weight- 125 lbs

35 lbs to Lose

The Last Of The Egg Nog

Around the holidays, I posted a blog about a delicious easy to make Egg Nog Pound Cake. Cleaning out my fridge this morning, I found the last of the egg nog and didn't want to through it out so decided to make a couple of breads with it. I wish I could eat it :(

Egg Nog Cinnamon Bread

(Makes two loaves)

• 1 Package of Yellow Cake
• 1 Package of Instant Vanilla Flavor Pudding and Pie Filling Mix
• 1 Cup of Egg Nog (I used Lite Egg Nog for less calories and it is tasty)
• 3/4 Cup Vegetable Oil
• 4 Eggs
• 1/2 Teaspoon of Ground Nutmeg
• 1/2 Teaspoon of Cinnamon
• Cheese Cake Frosting

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, combine cake mix, pudding mix, egg nog and oil. Beat on low speed until moistened. Add eggs, nutmeg and cinnamon then beat on medium high speed 4 minutes. Pour into greased and floured pan (you can use fluted or two bread pans). Bake 40-45 minutes and insert a toothpick in the center - when it comes out clean it is done. Cool for 10 minutes remove from pan. When cooled completely frost.

ENJOY!!

Is There Such A Thing As Two Great Loves?

I have often wondered this - is there such a thing as two great loves? Is it possible? This topic even came up in an episode of Sex and The City. Charlotte announced to the girls over their weekly lunch, "I read that a women only gets one great love in her lifetime." Carrie's face said it all. Carrie came back with, "Well I'm done then, I have had it with Big." I asked myself this question long before I had saw this episode.

I myself had a great love. He was my Big, the unattainable, the bad boy, the musician want-to-be rockstar. A breath taking, butterfly crazy in love romance with my husband #1, as I now call him. The sex was amazing, the conversations unending and I never even fathomed us breaking up. We met in high school, my first sexual experience, my first true love, my first everything. This love affair lasted 15 years. When he left me, I was devastated, broken and thought I could never met another man, never fall in love and felt as though I was going to die. So I threw myself into my career, my friends and the NYC lifestyle that is less than a type of life for a relationship. I was happy, or was I?
Then I met husband #2. A man I had known from visiting CT. A friend of a friend who chased me 4 years, 2 of which I was married. I escalated to 220 lbs., the dates were few and the ones that I went on were straight out of a Seinfeld episode, so I gave up. That's when they say it happens right? When you're not looking. I would't date this man because he was fit a softball coach and a genuinely good man. I thought that a man of this nature just wanted to f*&# a "fat chick" so I wasn't having it. Finally after 2 years of no sex, I gave in lol!! We had been friends for years so we got married 5 months after we started dating. I was in love, a different love, a comfortable/mature love that still left me reeling with butterflies. That ended soon thereafter. I lost the100 lbs that I had gained, I wouldn't give up NYC and he hated living there. So we decided to try the "distance" relationship and that certainly didn't cut it. I was still working 90/+ hours a week, partying with my friends and truely not giving a shit about this marriage. I had drawn up the papers and was moving towards the second divorce. Then husband #2 was diagnosed with MS. The MS effected his personality and he became a verbally and mentally abusive man and I wasn't going to put up with that too. So we made an agreement. I would support him, pay for his health insurance and he inturn would let me live a single life - legally separate, live separate lives and move forward with our lives. We agreed that if we found a partner to settle down with we would follow through on the legality of the divorce. This was a well thought out plan by me the attorney when in all actuality it was me being selfish. We lived like that for 8 years. Most people didn't even know that I was married, not even my bestfriend. I didn't think I was married and it was never even in the forefront of my mind (f'd up or what???)
This left me looking again....looking for that knock you off your feet love affair. It never happened. Sure, I had some good lust experiences but it was never love. I was fooling myself.
What made me think of writing all this was seeing the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You". The messages as women and men for that matter as to how we are supposed to be, act, feel about love and dating. And also the poor advise we have received and given for that matter to our girlfriends about men. Mine at the time co-signed my bullshit and said, "yeah Jerry's such an asshole", "you can do better", "F%^& him", blah, blah, blah. We have all been there.
Then something happened to me when I was away. Jerry and I began communicating the old fashioned way, through letters. The letters became love letters and we would correspond at least twice a week and speak on the phone. The butterflies returned. I did alot of soul searching on my trip as to who, what and where I wanted to be in life and it was most certainly not where I was. I began to open my heart and mind to love, this love that was right in front of me for many years.
When I came home in January, I had no idea what would happen between us. I knew that I was ready. Ready to give up my lifestyle, my career as I knew it, my old life and move toward a new journey. Once I let go, I was free. Free to feel again, free to have that true love in my life and I have never been happier. This has to be the best time in my life. Digging out of a dark period, I have emerged into something wonderful.
Jerry and I live as a couple now and I am learning how to open my heart and be a true partner. And yes, I am in love and it is a great love.
I still have no idea where I am going but enjoying the ride.

Calling All Sex & The City Fans!!

I love Sex and The City!! What's not to love? The show helped me evolve as a more confident, independent, single woman living in NYC. Funny thing, I never watched the show when it was airing, thinking it would be a total rip off of life in NYC....how I was WRONG! I am planning to go to the premiere in NYC with two of my gfs, red carpet the whole deal and can't wait!!!! I don't post all that much about SATC on here b/c I would load up my blog with it lol!! I save the news for the two other sites that I have Someday, I will post how this love affair came about for me.

If anyone is interested, I help run 2 SATC fanpages - one on MySpace and one on FB. It has all the latest news, fashion, etc.

Here are the links...

MySpace

http://www.myspace.com/sjpfans

Facebook

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=168142255864&ref=ts

Mixing It Up...Another Easy Recipe For Ya!

I made my pasta sauce (marinara), baked ziti and lasagna yesterday (yes, all low-carb :) but wanted to cook today so decided to make melt in your mouth pork chops. Another easy recipe and fits into my low-carb diet.

Pork Chops Marinara

• Pork Chops - thickness to your liking
• Marinara Sauce - my recipe is in an earlier blog
• Teaspoon Fresh Basil
• Teaspoon Fresh Oregano
• 4 Cloves of Garlic
• Serve with Pasta of you choice - to keep it a low-carb dish, I use Dream Fields pasta

Cook your marinara sauce. Place in baking dish. Place the chops in the sauce. Top with herbs and sliced garlic.

Cook at 350 degrees for 6 hours until the meat falls off the bone. The longer they cook, the better they taste and the more tender they get. Cook pasta, serve.

Enjoy!!

Rich & Creamy Ice Cream That Tastes Great And Won't Make You Fat

I just discovered a great low-carb, sugar free icecream and had to share it here for all of us craving icecream but are on a diet. I am always in search of great tasting low carb foods and found this in the grocery store today and it is delish!!

Edy's Slow Churned No Sugar Added Ice Cream

Made with Splenda, it comes in a variety of flavors, today I chose Fudge Tracks. It is vanilla ice cream with sugar free fudge swirls and small pieces of sugar free peanut butter cups. This product states that it is Rich and Creamy and it melts in your mouth :)

http://edys.slowchurned.com/flavorlisting.aspx?b=120

Hanging out with bffs!

What is better than hanging with your bffs?! I love my brother and sister-in-law!

(Check out our hands!! LOOK AT JERRY'S FACE ROTLMFAO!!!)>>

It's great to be close to them again and not just seeing them on holidays or funerals! We have so much fun together hanging out. The four of us being snow bound most of the time on the weekends in winter and football season coming to and end decided to get together more often because living here is pretty boring in the winter if you are not into winter sports and we all are not!

We all love cards and play everything from Setback to Poker. Today we played a family game called Michigan Rummy. It is a board game like poker and yes we play for $$ not much but enough ;) I used to be in a poker league for 2 years a couple of years ago and have won trophies and chaching! I won today YAY lol!! It always surprises me that I still got it b/c I don't play every week anymore but when you are good you're good ;)

That's 40 bucks right there lmao!

BFFS being silly :D

Loves it lol!

WHY I OUTTA!!

Look at Tracy's hand lmao!!

Ok, ok a nice one!

I Still Can't Look At Myself Naked In A Mirror But...

But.....it's a start and I am well on my weigh!

Along with the LOSE IT BITCH weight loss challenge on our blog site, we are doing, "The Biggest Loser" contest @ work also....so I entered that too!! Our weigh in was last night at work and much to my surprise, I lost 6lbs this week!! 6 lbs!! That makes my tally 21lbs since October!!! I am well on my way to the real me. The person that I lost in food going on 2 years now. I began eating for comfort in 2008 when my Mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and moved in with me February 2008. I went through so many changes that year, moving back to my home state, quitting a job that I had most of my life and being a full-time caregiver for my dieing mother. I was blessed in doing so and she survived with a very high quality of life until June 2009. But this is when my addiction to food took off. I have always had to watch my weight and balloon up in times of extreme stress. This happened to me when I first went to college, after my divorce and this time around. Once the stressor is lifted, I can lose the weight pretty fast once I put my mind to dieting or as I like to say, changing my eating habits.

I have been strict with my low-carb diet. Eating only 20 grams of carbs a day, drinking a lot of water and exercising twice a week. I wish that I could work-out more but w/my work schedule it is next to impossible. To be honest, it hasn't been that difficult because I am determined to be the skinny me again :)

Starting Weight in October 2009 - 190lbs

1/3/10 - 170 lbs

1/8/10 - 164 lbs

Goal Weight- 125 lbs

45lbs to Los

Listen Up Sex & The City Fans

The Carrie Diaries

April 27th 2010 a new book is coming out by the author of Sex and The City, Candice Bushnell, titled, "The Carrie Diaries". It is about the life that Carrie Bradshaw before she moved to NYC. A must buy for any die-hard fan!

I just pre-ordered my copy on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061728918?ie=UTF8&tag=warcraftthemo-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0061728918

Help Me!! By Philosophy

I wanted to follow up on the purchases of facial products by Philosophy from Sephora, that I made last week. I originally purchased Eye Hope by Philosophy and fell in love with the product. I saw instant results on my dark circles and bags under my eyes so I thought I would give the rest of the line of moisturizing products a try. I received them this week and have to say they are awesome!! The products are rich and make my skin feel as smooth as a baby's bottom (that's a good thing lol)! I am totally hooked on the "Hope" line of beauty products!!

I also purchased a retinol cream that is working wonders on my skin called, Help Me. Another product by Philosophy that is working wonders on my skin!!

$45.00

What it is formulated to do:
This winner of Allure magazine's editor's choice "Best of Beauty" award for best antiaging treatment helps keep pores clean and minimized, reduces wrinkles and discoloration, and boosts tone and firmness. It delivers the key ingredient, retinol, through encapsulated microsponge technology, which offers stability for gradual release into the skin. The time-release innovation, along with a soothing dose of bisabolol, increases efficacy and helps prevent irritation.

My final purchase of the line is called, Miracle Worker, which is an anti-aging treatment. It a retanoid treatment. I can't wait to receive and try this product and am sure that I will find the same results that I have with the other products

$70.00

Sephora

http://www.sephora.com/index.jhtml?DPSLogout=true

Miracle Worker

http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P254602&searchString=miracle%20worker

Help Me

http://www.sephora.com/customer_service/csr_service.jhtml?SectionID=csrService&searchString=help%20me

One Of My Guilty Pleasures

~Loving Lavender~

Seems to be a theme to my blogs lately along with my recipes and new weight loss goals of 2010 is sharing products that I love. I know that I am always looking for new "girly" products so I like to share what I like to use and it's also a way for you to get to know me a little better.

First off, lavender and purple are my favorite colors so I think I was originally drawn to lavender scents because of this. I grow it, soak in it, scrub with it and spray it!! And while googling to find pics of lavender products that I use, found that they even make tea that I am going to have to try!! I just love the soothing qualities of this herb.

I am particularly fond of the organic L'Occtane brand. I like the pure french lavender aroma that this product has. It can be difficult to find a product that smells like the pure herb. I found the store in the Village near NYU and used to frequent it often while in NYC but now I now buy it on-line. I usually buy it on E-bay because I can get great deals on it vs. paying full price. It comes in every form you can think of - bath products, candles, room sprays, etc.

There is nothing like a hot bubble bath using the body salts, bubble bath and body scrub on a cold winter night. Then lotioning up with it and spraying the linen spray on my bed....

It's sooo relaxing!

Even if lavender is not your thang, L'Occtane has a huge variety of other scents. They are all natural and smell incredible!

Check out the store. Or like me E-bay it baby!

http://usa.loccitane.com/FO/Home.aspx

Lose The Vanity Bitch!

Lose The Vanity Bitch!

One of my friends here that is participating in Think Tank Mama's Lifestyle Change/Weight Challenge, called "Lose It Bitch! (LOVE THIS TITLE!), said she was going to post her "before" pics. I was like there is no way that I am going to do this!!!! Vanity in place, I was going to post my "before" and "after" pics of myself AFTER I lost the weight....Thinking about it, said WTH this is the worst that I can look and yep threw vanity out the door :O I have lost 20 of the 70 that I need to lose. I started a diet in October and much to my surprise when I stepped on the scale this morning lost another 5lbs and have no idea how with the holiday cakes, lasagnas and various poor food choices.

So here it begins.....

Starting Weight in October 2009 - 190lbs

Today 1/3/09 Starting Weight - 170 lbs

Goal Weight- 125 lbs

45lbs to Lose

August 2009 @ 190 lbs

Now 1/3/09 - 170lbs

Join us all in the "Lose It Bitch Challenge"! Click on the scale to take you to

Think Tank Mama's Blog Site.....

Happy New Year!!

2009 Memories.....

Lose it Bitch!

I love this site for many reasons. One of which is the support that we all get from each other as woman struggling with different issues....this one in particular - WEIGHT LOSS!! One of my friends on here "Menopausal Mom" posted this on her blog and want to share it with you all here. The idea originated from a new woman that I am following, "Think Tank Mom"......

"On Wednesday Think Tank Momma declared that 2010 was going to be the year she drops some weight, her goal is to lose 100 pounds! She definitely got my attention with that commitment and yes, I'm inspired! She challenged anyone who wants to join in and take off some weight to grab her button, put it on their blog and join the party!"

I have been struggling with my weight on and off throughout my life. As I have posted before, in times of extreme stress in my life, I turn to food for comfort and become an emotional binge eater. I eat myself into misery, this time I gained 70lbs when my Mom was in the dieing process. It's a bit better than the 100lbs that I gained after my first divorce but if I keep up the way that I have been going, I'd be 220lbs again before I know it. After my last love affair with food was over, I committed myself to a low carb diet. I lost the 100lbs and kept it off for 5 years so I know that I can do it, it was just a matter of reaching my bottom with food as in any other addiction. I am done with it.

I began my diet yesterday and will continue to do so until I am back to my goal weight of 120lbs. I had thought that I needed to lose 70 but I have actually lost 15lbs struggling to diet from October through the holidays so it is really 50lbs *sigh* I am also adding exercise into the mix (which I hate btw) since I don't live in a city where walking is my exercise as it was in the past. I was turned on to a great DVD, "Step Reebok" by Gin Miller by a gf and I used faithfully last year and without dieting and eating excessively, I was able to maintain my weight at 160lbs. As soon as I stopped using the DVD, I gained 30lbs. So I figure that using the DVD and exercising, the weight will come off.

The DVD

http://www.ginmiller.com/gmf06/gmf_store/workouts/step_reebok/the_video.html

Gin Miller's Site

http://www.ginmiller.com/index.html

Friends that are helping me with motivation.....

Click on the pics to take you to Menopausal Mom and Think Tank Mama's Site....

And Dual Mom's Blog - We're at Dad's that Week

http://wereatdadsthatweek.blogspot.com/

Low Carb Mac & Cheese

~*Low Carb Mac & Cheese*~

Who says that dieting can't taste good?

Only 5 grams of carbs for 3/4 cup serving (beats out 25 carb count in regular pasta!!)

Ingredients

• 1 Package of Pasta of your choice (I used Dreamfields Low Carb Pasta - Rotini Style)
• 1 Cup of Cream
• 2 Tablespoons of Butter or Margarine
• 1 Cup of Shredded Cheddar Cheese
• Sprinkle Bread Crumbs on Top

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large pot boil pasta as directed, drain. In a medium saucepan melt butter. Add cheese and cream, stir until smooth, add pasta to mixture. Place pasta mixture in a well greased baking dish. Spinkle bread crumps on top. 
Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until brown.

ENJOY!