When Grief Comes Out Of Nowhere And Kicks You In The Ass!

I have always loved Christmas! It is my favorite day of the year. This year Jerry and I are making new traditions for our new lives together. Yesterday was decorating day at our house and it sure didn't go as planned. Everything has been packed up for a few years and not thinking I untangled a massive mess of Xmas lights which took an hour not plugging them in before hand and once done, plugged them in and *poof* half of them didn't work....the start of the mess in my head. Next as I was going through my things I found items that really through me for a loop....second mess in my head. Then on to the ornaments.....My Mom started a tradition when I was born and gave me an ornament or two every year of my life. Every ornament on my tree is a gift, mostly from my Mom. I really began a spiral after looking at them all. A spiral into memories, depression, sadness and ended with crying hysterically.

After talking to a friend, I was able to face the ornaments and tree from a different perspective and as I placed each one on the tree, I thought of my Mom, good thoughts. I heard my Mom say to me, "Nancy, your tree is beautiful!", something that she always said to me because she knew how much Christmas means to me and how much I cherish each ornament.

I was told the grieving process is a hard, long road and can come at you anytime. I knew in my heart that the holidays would be tough at times but this really through me off. But, instead of stuffing my feelings, I let them out...part of the healing process.

Needless to say I was emotionally exhausted once done so I got off of Facebook (my home away from home) and popped in my favorite show - Sex and the City and the whole world after that seemed right. Sex and the City for me does the body good lol!! I then went to bed early to shake off the day and feel refreshed and stronger now.

Love you Mom for all that you've done and all that you mean to me....

Merry Christmas!

Great Times, New Memories!!

I wasn't sure how this Thanksgiving would play out for me. Losing my Mom in June has been a very painful experience and I didn't know how I would handle Thanksgiving without her. I did have a hard time the day before and was very depressed and had a difficult day. I came home from work on Wednesday night to find these from my wonderful husband Pink being one of my favorite colors (purple my other) , I though this was so loving and thoughtful!

My husband and I had a nice talk about my Mom and my feelings and I somehow was able to let go and think of the good things about Thanksgiving's past and believe that my Mom was there with me.

My husband and I had been estranged for quite some time so this was also our first Thanksgiving together in years and I wanted it to be a special one and it sure was. We invited my favorite brother and sister in-law over for a new tradition. Janis lost her parents last year, both in the same month and was having a really hard time. So we thought it would be great to spend the day together. And I have to tell you we had a blast!! It was one of the best holidays ever! We laughed our asses off, talked about our parents (all of us are parent-less), ate like pigs and played cards, our favorite thing to do while hanging out. I was really happy about the day and how things went and am looking forward to doing this each year with them. There is nothing like love. family, friends and big belly laughs to help you through life.

My brother in-law and I

The two guido brothers

Awww...Tracy and Janis

Going for it lol!

The happy couple!
Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

*~Blueberry Bread*~

~*Blueberry Bread*~

I usually make this for Xmas morning but had the ingredients and motivation to make it tonight. I love anything to do with blueberries and this is one of my favorites!

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
• TOPPING:
• 2 teaspoons sugar
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar. Beat in eggs, milk and vanilla. Combine flour and baking powder; add to creamed mixture just until combined. Gently fold in blueberries. Pour into a greased 9-in. x 5-in. x 3-in. loaf pan. Combine sugar and cinnamon; sprinkle over top. Bake at 350 degrees F for 50-55 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan to a wire rack to cool completely.

Enjoy!

I Received The Blog Sparkle Award!!

I received an award!! From my gf Holly, a great blogger whose blog I enjoy reading everyday!

Here's her blog -

Blogger (Blogspot) - 504main

1. Link the person who gave you the award.

2. Pass the award on to 10 blogs and link those who you gave it to.

3. Let those bloggers know you chose them!
4. Post your award on your sidebar if you so choose.
5. Recopy the rules for someone else.

And, now I pass it on to...

1. Holly - Blogger (Blogspot) - 504main

2. Connie - Living my Glamorous Life

3. Menopausal New Mom

4. Erin - The Mother Load

5. Glama Ray

6. Keri - Black & White Site

7. Keri - Sandwich 365

8. Karen - A Peek at Karen's World

9. Single Mama NYC - Single Mom in The Big Apple

10. Heather and Tiffany - The Secret is in the Sauce

Making New Traditions

I am getting ready for Thanksgiving as most us Americans are. This Thanksgiving will be so different than Thanksgiving's past. First off, my Mom passed away this past June and I have been dreading the holiday season without her. I have given this alot of thought and realized that she is still with me and she would not want me to be mourning her but celebrating her life. I am grateful to be able to see it this way now. I am not fooling myself because I know it will still be tough because I miss her so much and we have spent every holiday together since I was born. On the other side of this is also the fact that Jerry and I haven't spent the holidays together in quite a while so this will be the year of the start of new traditions for us. We are having a huge feast (both Jerry and I love to cook) and invited my brother and sister in-law over who also have no parents. We always have a great time together and felt this would be good for all of us and I am looking forward to it. Lots of food, poker and football, sounds like a great day to me!

~Menu~

We are having quite a feast on Thanksgiving even though there is only going to be four of us. We just went out and bought our 20lb turkey and everything to go with it.

• Turkey
• Stuffing
• Mashed Potatoes and My Grandma's secret gravy recipe ;)
• Sweet Potatoes
• Cranberry Sauce
• Corn
• Greenbean Casserole
• Carrots
• Lasagna
• Sausage and Peppers
• Assorted Breads
• Pumpkin Pie (my first attempt at making this :O)
• Apple Pie

Looks like a great day!!

Ok So I Did It Again - THAT IS IT LOL!

When I Xmas shop, I always end up buying things for me lol!! I said that I wasn't going to anymore but just had to. As I went through my winter clothes this year, I found that I am low on sweaters. Going from a small/med to an extra large, well that doesn't but it....so I had to right?? ;)

Macy's is having a great sale and I picked up these today, along with another turtle neck. Between turtle necks and hoodies, I can't get enough. The turtle necks are on sale for $19.98. I love Macy's clothes because they are high quality and fit me well.

I love this and picked it up in a eggshell (to match my Uggs) and red! Will look great with a turtle neck :)

$ 24.99

I love his sweater!! I bought it in blue but it wouldn't let me change the color for posting.

$34.99

And had to get another sweater in my favorite color purple!

$29.99

https://www.macys.com/

And I had to stock up on my Christmas Candles too :)

www.yankeecandle.com

Buffalo Chicken Dip

My bff passed on this recipe to me and it sounded so yummy for a new type of appetizer. I took her recipe and added my own twist to it. It's great for game day!!

Ingredients

• 4 Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breast
• 1 Cup of Blue Cheese Dressing
• 2 8 oz Packages of Cream Cheese (softened)
• 3/4 Cup of your favorite Wing Sauce
• 2 Cups of the Shredded Cheese of your choice. I used Sharp Chedder for this.

Boil chicken breasts. Once cooked, fork shred.

Place chicken in baking dish and add blue cheese and the cream cheese wing sauce mix well.

Add the wing sauce.

Top with Shredded cheese.

Bake at 350 degrees until cheese melts. Serve with your favorite tortilla chips and/or your favorite bread.

ENJOY!

New Recipe For Me - Spanish Pork

Shredded Spanish Pork

I was trying to think of something different to make and this is what I came up with. It really came out great. It can be served with a vegetable and rice or as a sandwich.

• 1 pork shoulder
• 7 whole garlic cloves, crushed
• 3 envelops (1 1/2 tablespoons) sazon seasoning
• 1 tablespoon adobo seasoning
• olive oil

Drizzle roast with olive oil. Rub roast with Adobo seasoning, spread crused garlic over the roast. At the 3 hour mark remove from oven and shred the pork. Continue to cook. Cook at 350 degrees for 6 hours.

It should melt in your mouth!

ENJOY!!

More Holiday Pampering For Me..It's Called Shopping!

I love the Gap! It's my favorite clothing store. I can buy online and no need to try on, their sizes are true to size for me. As I went on my shopping spree on Saturday here, I bought a gift card for my stepson's girlfriend and yes I did it, bought some more things for me lol!!

I am in love with hoodies. They are so comfortable and you can dress them up with a turtle neck a bit and a nice heel. I had bought a Royal Blue (it is more of a bright purple, my favorite color) in the late summer from the Gap and it is so soft and comfy, I just had to buy more. I don't wear red much but everyone says it looks good on me so I bought one along with a black one. I also bought three turtle necks - white, black and navy which are also so soft. I love the material that the Gap uses for their clothing line. And threw in a cute pair of PJS. For those who don't know it, I love, love, love my PJS and is my Sunday winter attire lol!!

Hoodie - 34.50

PJS - 39.50

Turtle Neck - 34.50

www.gap.com

The Bath and Body Holiday Scents Are Out!!

I look forward to this every year. I am in love with the Winter Candy Apple Scent and stocked up! They are having a great sale buy 3/get 3 free. How can you beat that? They make great Xmas gifts and stocking stuffers. I also bought the candle. I am picky about my candles and stick to Yankee Candle because I hate getting one that smells great at the store but when you burn it, there is not a strong scent. This has a great aroma!

Ok, enough shopping for me lol!!

bathandbodyworks.com/

My Latest Buys - Xmas Shopping For Me.

Everytime I Christmas shop, I end up buying for myself too lol!! Here are my latest buys for the winter season. I hate malls and am an internet shopper. I actually finished most of my Xmas shopping Saturday while on line :) *phew*

I bought the classic Uggs in two colors, no deal but I love them!! There is no other winter boot in my book!

http://www.uggaustralia.com/index.aspx

I found a great buy at Macys.com for a down Tommy Hilfiger Down Coat with a hood. Nice and warm for this area of the country. I purchased it in black but really wanted the Ivory. But, knowing me, it would spend most of it's time in the drycleaner lol!!

$185.00 marked down to $137.99 and with my coupon I got it for a steal at $79.99

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=395351

Lemon Pepper Chicken

One great thing is that you can do so much with chicken. This is one of my recipes for chicken breast that Jerry and I love. And it is so easy to make.

Lemon Pepper Chicken

Ingredients

• 4 Chicken Breasts (you can used boned or boneless, I used boned today)
• Lemon Pepper Seasoning
• 1 Lemon
• Italian Dressing ( use for almost everything)
• Paprika
• 1 Can of Potatoes (or fresh, I just have alot of canned potatoes to unload)

In a baking dish line the bottom of the pan with Italian dressing. Add Chicken Breast and rub Lemon Pepper seasoning on the chicken, enough to coat well. Add potatoes. Sprinkle the entire dish with Paprika. Squeeze lemon juice over the meat and potatoes. Bake at 350 degrees for one hour.

ENJOY!!

My Love For Teas

*TEAS*

I was turned on to various teas when and Jerry and I moved in together. He is a big tea lover because of the taste and also the anti-oxidant ingredients that they have. His neurologist (for those who don't know, he has MS) suggested them to him years ago. I love herbal teas, my favorite being Camomile. But I am also a huge fan of the white, green teas, black and breakfast teas. I do want to try loose teas and am going to buy my husband a tea pot and loose teas for a Christmas gift. We have been using the bagged teas but the loose is supposed to be even better for you.

I have found a tea line that we love called Twinings and I buy them online. I am hoping that they come out with Holiday Teas :) I also LOVE Starbucks teas, anything from Starbucks (Tazo is the brand name) gets my vote but these are a bit more economical for your buck!

Here are the websites if you want to check them out!

http://www.twiningsusa.com/products.php?id=16

http://www.starbucks.com/retail/tazo.asp

~*Holiday Eggnog*~

**Holiday Eggnog**

When I was in the Food Store today, while in the dairy aisle, I stumbled across the Eggnog. I love Eggnog!! Hood has come out with a variety of Eggnogs and I am psyched to try them. However, I didn't buy any today because of my low-carb diet, but they do make low-carb of the original variety (so maybe next week:) But, I will definitely buy them around Christmas! They even have one of my favorite new Flavors - PUMPKIN...MMMM!

Here is the website - http://www.hphood.com/products/prodList.aspx?id=200

A Good Cup Of Joe!

I LOVE my coffee, good coffee! I have never been a flavored coffee fan (only @ Starbucks) and am very picky about my coffee. My bff turned me onto Dunkin' Donuts Coconut coffee this summer and the Pumpkin Coffee this fall and I have to tell you, they are yummy!! My husband loves Hazelnut and Vanilla Coffee (YUK!), so we buy Coffeemate Liquid Hazelnut and Vanilla Creamer for him. They have come out with many different flavors and by the way, have only a small amount of sugar and carbs :) I am hooked on the Coconut Creamer. I was at the food store today and found Pumpkin Spice Creamer and it's delish!!! If you get a chance, give them a try. With the creamer added, it tastes like a store bought coffee. But, if you are looking for it to be like Starbucks....go to Starbucks ;)

Here is the website to check them out!

http://www.coffee-mate.com

A Great Tasting Pasta That Doesn't Land On Your Arse!

I have been on a low-carb diet for about a month and a half now. So far, without exercise, I have lost 15 lbs. I did this diet about 6 years ago and lost 100 lbs and kept it off for 4 years until stress took over my life and I gained 70 lbs. It can be hard now that the low-carb diet craze is over to find edible tasting low-carb foods. One item that they didn't take off the market is, Dream Fields Pasta. They range from 2g - 7g a serving vs the 40/+ grams of carbs that regular pasta contains. I love pasta and hate the taste of the wheat pastas and most of the low-carb choices taste like card board. Dream Fields tastes like "real white pasta" and my husband also loves it. It comes in all varieties from elbows to lasagna noodles. I know that they carry the line at Big Y and Stop and Shop Supermarkets but just found there web-site and you can order it online!

http://www.dreamfieldsfoods.com/

Venison Stew

Venison Stew

Never in my life did I ever think I'd be cooking something like this!

My husband's friend gave us some Venison meat last week. This is one of my husband's favorite dishes, something that I never dreamed I'd ever be cooking. I wasn't sure if I was even going to like it and I have to say, it was delicious! I have heard that any wild game meat can taste, "gamey" with a strong flavor. But the secret is in the marinade I find with most meats. Here is my recipe.

Ingredients

2lbs of Venison - chopped into small pieces

Olive Oil

Garlic Powder

1 Can of Campbell's French Onion Soup

48 oz Can of College Inn Beef Broth

2 Carrots

2 Cans of Potatoes

1 Can of Diced Tomatoes

2 Cans of Green Beans

1 Small Can of Mushrooms

Marinade Venison in onion soup, cover with garlic powder for 1 hour. In a large skillet cover with olive oil add Marinaded meat and brown.

Add all above ingredients to large sauce pan and cook on low heat for 5-6 hours. For a thicker stew, make a roux, I opted for more of a soup today.

ENJOY!! It really was yummy :)

Chocolate and Peanut Butter Lover's Dream

I am still learning how to bake, I am a cook, not a baker and I am really thinking that I am not liking it too much lol!! I can't seem to make my cakes look purty! I have trouble with the frosting and don't have the patience for it. At least this week's cake looks a bit better than last weeks :) I got this idea from bakerella.com and made it a bit different.

Ingredients
Package of your favorite Chocolate Cake Mix. I used Dunkin Hines Dark Chocolate.

I folded in Milk Chocolate Chips into batter.

Bake as instructed on box.

I did however make my own frosting and used melted peanut butter for the center of the cake.

Frosting

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine
2/3 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
3 cups powdered sugar
1/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup of melted peanut butter

Melt butter. Stir in cocoa. Alternately add powdered sugar and milk, beating to spreading consistency. Add small amount additional milk, if needed. Stir in vanilla. About 2 cups frosting.

Melt peanut butter in pan or in microwave for about 1 minute. Spread frosting in the center of the cake, top with the peanut butter spread. Add peanut butter cups to top of cake.

ENJOY!