Is There Such A Thing As Two Great Loves?

I have often wondered this - is there such a thing as two great loves? Is it possible? This topic even came up in an episode of Sex and The City. Charlotte announced to the girls over their weekly lunch, "I read that a women only gets one great love in her lifetime." Carrie's face said it all. Carrie came back with, "Well I'm done then, I have had it with Big." I asked myself this question long before I had saw this episode.

I myself had a great love. He was my Big, the unattainable, the bad boy, the musician want-to-be rockstar. A breath taking, butterfly crazy in love romance with my husband #1, as I now call him. The sex was amazing, the conversations unending and I never even fathomed us breaking up. We met in high school, my first sexual experience, my first true love, my first everything. This love affair lasted 15 years. When he left me, I was devastated, broken and thought I could never met another man, never fall in love and felt as though I was going to die. So I threw myself into my career, my friends and the NYC lifestyle that is less than a type of life for a relationship. I was happy, or was I?
Then I met husband #2. A man I had known from visiting CT. A friend of a friend who chased me 4 years, 2 of which I was married. I escalated to 220 lbs., the dates were few and the ones that I went on were straight out of a Seinfeld episode, so I gave up. That's when they say it happens right? When you're not looking. I would't date this man because he was fit a softball coach and a genuinely good man. I thought that a man of this nature just wanted to f*&# a "fat chick" so I wasn't having it. Finally after 2 years of no sex, I gave in lol!! We had been friends for years so we got married 5 months after we started dating. I was in love, a different love, a comfortable/mature love that still left me reeling with butterflies. That ended soon thereafter. I lost the100 lbs that I had gained, I wouldn't give up NYC and he hated living there. So we decided to try the "distance" relationship and that certainly didn't cut it. I was still working 90/+ hours a week, partying with my friends and truely not giving a shit about this marriage. I had drawn up the papers and was moving towards the second divorce. Then husband #2 was diagnosed with MS. The MS effected his personality and he became a verbally and mentally abusive man and I wasn't going to put up with that too. So we made an agreement. I would support him, pay for his health insurance and he inturn would let me live a single life - legally separate, live separate lives and move forward with our lives. We agreed that if we found a partner to settle down with we would follow through on the legality of the divorce. This was a well thought out plan by me the attorney when in all actuality it was me being selfish. We lived like that for 8 years. Most people didn't even know that I was married, not even my bestfriend. I didn't think I was married and it was never even in the forefront of my mind (f'd up or what???)
This left me looking again....looking for that knock you off your feet love affair. It never happened. Sure, I had some good lust experiences but it was never love. I was fooling myself.
What made me think of writing all this was seeing the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You". The messages as women and men for that matter as to how we are supposed to be, act, feel about love and dating. And also the poor advise we have received and given for that matter to our girlfriends about men. Mine at the time co-signed my bullshit and said, "yeah Jerry's such an asshole", "you can do better", "F%^& him", blah, blah, blah. We have all been there.
Then something happened to me when I was away. Jerry and I began communicating the old fashioned way, through letters. The letters became love letters and we would correspond at least twice a week and speak on the phone. The butterflies returned. I did alot of soul searching on my trip as to who, what and where I wanted to be in life and it was most certainly not where I was. I began to open my heart and mind to love, this love that was right in front of me for many years.
When I came home in January, I had no idea what would happen between us. I knew that I was ready. Ready to give up my lifestyle, my career as I knew it, my old life and move toward a new journey. Once I let go, I was free. Free to feel again, free to have that true love in my life and I have never been happier. This has to be the best time in my life. Digging out of a dark period, I have emerged into something wonderful.
Jerry and I live as a couple now and I am learning how to open my heart and be a true partner. And yes, I am in love and it is a great love.
I still have no idea where I am going but enjoying the ride.